How

is it that I can be talking to people that I really do love and care about
and secretly be thinking how annoyed I am by them
at the same time?

Oh god

I hate myself sometimes

I don't think I mean what I think

Or do I not mean what I say?

How do I not know what I mean?

I am

surrounded by disappointment.

In a number of ways.


And I realize
that one day
when I go back and look through a lot of these posts
I won't really know what I'm talking about.

Hm...